My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
