none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize