I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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