East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
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I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
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So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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