is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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