I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
