I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
