Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
