and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
