How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
