I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
