Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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