Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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