YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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