My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
