dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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