my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
