I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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