I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
