There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
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