the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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