At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
