come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Boobs are out for the taking
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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