Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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