dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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