i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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