Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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