she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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