Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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