garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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