and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
