Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize