the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
