You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
