i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
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