i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
