dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
