Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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