This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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