I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize