Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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