I'm drive I can fine osifer
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
