Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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