***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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