careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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