im gay
i know
yea but for you.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
