i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
