also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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