I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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