Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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