I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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