tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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