Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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