she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
