he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
