i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
