obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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